An Irish daughter had not been back home for more than five years. Upon her return, her father cussed her out, "Where have you been all this time? Why don't you write? Don't you know what you put your old mom through?"

The girl, crying replied, "Sniff...Dad, I became a prostitute..."

"WHAT! Out of here you shameless harlot, I don't ever want to see you again!"

"O.K. Dad, I just came home to give Mom this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a 10 bedroom mansion, plus a savings account certificate for $5 million. "For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for you, Daddy, a spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible and an invitation for you all to spend New Year's Eve aboard my new yacht in the Riviera and....."

"Now what was it you said you had become?" the father says.

"A prostitute, Dad."

"Oh, bejesus, you scared me half to death girl, I thought you said Protestant. "Come give your old man a hug."

The USA government today announced
that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!


B)