NICE AVATAR SEAN

anyone we know?

How many Black and tans does it take to shingle a roof?
5 if you slice them thin enough

How do you make 'holy water?'
Start with regular tap water and boil the 'hell' out of it

Sorry, its still kind of early for jokes. Still workin on my first cup of coffee

About avatar - that's some black sheep cousin...


-You know, Molly, we - Seamus and me - had 5 wonderful years... It was like a Heaven!..
- So what was after?
- He was released from a jail...

A brit tourist in Dublin asks a man:
- Hey, Paddy, where is a post office?
- How did you know that I'm Paddy?
- I've guessed...
- So guess where is a post office, sassanach salach...

Why do Brits have such BIG noses?
Because they have such BIG fingers

on the subject of coffee machines and coins...come over here and get rich, i know this coffee machine under which a fortune must be hidden by now. everytime i waited for my ex girlfriend at that place i tried to get myself a cup of hot chocolate. but the slot was so small (and me, with fingers like wieners) I quite often dropped the coins. wouldnt be a problem, but the floor was designed to send the going under the machine, so it seemed...maybe that was a reason we broke up, she was making me a poor man just by making me wait for her...

A Brittish mother comes home from work one day and finds her son weeping. She asks whats wrong. He replies "Mom, today in school, we were saying the alphabet and all the Irish kids were saying the whole alphabet and I could only get as far as 'G'. Is that cause I am a Brit"? His mother replies. "No son, Its not because youre a Brit". A few weeks go by and the mother comes home from work to find her son weeping again. She asks him whats wrong this time. He replies "Mom, today in school, we were counting numbers and all the Irish kids could count to 1000 and I could only count to 20. Is that cause I am a Brit"? The mother says "No son, Its not because you are a Brit. A few weeks go by and the same mother comes home to see her son dancing and singing all over the place. She asks him what the celebration is all about. He replies "Mom, today in school, we were all in gym class and had to take a shower together and my penis is bigger than all the Irish kids, Is that cause I am a Brit"? His mother replied.... "No son, Thats because you are 21"

NorCalGuitarist,
yes I admit a bit of anglophobia, but I'm getting medication ...

Just a bit of humour, come on !

NorCal, I wouldnt expect you to understand 'Irish Republicanism', but obviously you havent seen my baby picture either.

yeah but i dont understand how you can complain to one group for making racist remarks while you yourself are doing it on a different post

Lets see if I can explain this so even you can understand. This particular thread is about Republican humor. That means jokes abut the British would be the main ingredient. (Read the subject title next time)

And these are also JOKES. Not our personal opinions.

NorCal, like it or lump it

Reminds me some other joke :


Racism is just like the Brits. It shouldn't exist.

so if i make a thread called 'Nazi Jokes' it's ok? fuck off

Fuck off?

Make me

NorCal, I think you have been getting a bit too much sun

Well, mo cairde... perhaps this "neutral" joke will get us back to topic...

Bh� fear agus a bhean ch�ile ag turas�ireacht i
gContae Dh�n na nGall. Th�inig siad go dt� teach
uaigneach ceanntu� sna sl�ibhte. Bh� seanfhear ina
ch�na� ansin.
"C�ard a dh�anamh t� nuair at� t� tinn?" arsa an
turas�ir. "An bhfuil aon docht�ir in aice liom?"
"N�l g� againn de dhocht�ir� anseo," arsa an
seanfhear. "Faigheann muid b�s le hadhairt
in�r gcontae."



Translation
A man and a woman were traveling County Donegal.
They came to a lonely cottage in the mountains.
An old man lived there.
"What do you do when you are ill? Is there a doctor around?"
"We don't need doctors here", said the old man.
"In our County the people die of natural cause."



Sl�n, a chairde... agus beannacht libh...

Thaistil Sasanach ar traein go Baile �tha Cliath.
Chonaic s� dh� chlog ar an St�isi�n � Conghaile.
Bh� s� a c�ig tar �is a tr� ar clog amh�in agus a
cheathr� tar �is a tr� ar an clog eile.

"C�n f�th a bhfuil g� ag �ireannach le dh� chlog
mura bhfuil an t-am ceanna acu?" ar seisean le
h�ireannach. "C�n f�th a bhfuil g� ag Sasanach
le dh� chlog m� bhfuil an t-am ceanna acu?"
arsa an t�ireannach.


Translation
An Englishman travelled to Dublin by train.
He saw two clocks at the Conolly Station.
It was 5 past 3 on the one clock and
quarter past 3 on the other clock.

"Why does the Irishman have two clocks, when
they don't show the same time?" he asked an
Irishman. "Why does the Englishman have two
clocks when they both do show the same time?"
he said to the Irishman.


Sin mo sc�al is m� t� br�ag ann, ...b�odh!
This is my story, and if you find a lie in it, ...keep it!


Mar at� sin...
...rachaidh m� a lu� anois...

Sl�n le cheile...

@Roidsear: www.irelandman.deright?

Stop now, NorCalGuitarist. If you can't make the difference between real racism and jokes, that's not my problem and I can't help you. This very thread is supposed to be good fun, don't bring silly debates in here. Thanks

abusive language will not be tolerated

No humour...

well,with being german, i am quite...careful with the nazi jokes (roidsear and fionas may understand what i am talking about there)...but i liked the one with the thieves...still,nazi jokes and republican jokes have one thing in common - they bring a funny side into cruel history. i don't see what could be wrong about that. i told my friends the joke about the irishman,the scotsman and the englishman and the flies in their beers from a few pages earlier...well told this joke is a real laugher...so, i find most of the jokes here funny, don't understand the serious side and the feeling between the lines cause i am not irish, but i enjoy reading them and of course laughing. AND i find nothing offensive in them. germans make jokes about austrians,dutch about germans...it's a normal thing, just with a serious historical...trouble...when it's between irish and brits...and nazi jokes are something totally different...



so much about my opinion

^LOL

Your learning NorCal, your learning, lol.

BOBBY SANDS,
at least, try to find a funny one... Bad taste, just bad taste.

Well finally, I think it was worth deleting.
No comment, NorCalGuitarist, I know what you are going to say.

A 78 year old couple go to see a sex therapist. The Doctor asks what he can do for them. He replies that he would like to have the Doctor watch them have intercourse. He agrees. Afterwards, he tells the couple that there was nothing odd or strange about their love making. The couple pay the Doctor $50 and leave. The same couple returns a week later and requests the same thing. Once again the Doctor finds nothing wrong with how they are having sex. They pay him his $50 fee and leave. This continues every week for a few months when the Doctor finally tells the 78 year old man... "look, you have been coming here week after week requesting the same thing. You have me watch you two having sex and I find nothing wrong. Why do you keep coming here"? The man replies... "Well, she's married so we cant go to her house and I am married so we cant go to my house. The hotel down the street costs $90. The Hilton costs $180. You only charge $50 and I get $43 of that back from medicare.

Look who I met on the forum of my school!

Patrick's cat!

Seems Patrick's ca

Look who I met on the forum of my school!

Patrick's cat!

Seems Patrick's cat is getting popular on the net.

Arlo sure gets around doesnt he?

There was the International Congress of the Brewers.
The delegates meet in a bar and the Presedent of Corona tells to a barman:
- Give me the pearl of the hot Mexica, the chilln' and the most delicious barley juice Corona..
Then the president of Bud tells to a barman:
- Hey, man, wazzup? Gimme some a magnificent and the whole world respected drink called BUD!
Then a president of GUINNESS tells to a barman:
- Would you give me some Coke, please...
Eneryone is shocked! "Why, why, why?!"
- I see, you do not take any beer, so I would not too...

clever

Haha! What a joke! I heard that one three years ago with 3 Belgian beers. It took the joke some time to spread it seems!

Whats the difference between a picnic table and a Loyalist?
A picnic table will support a family of 6

does any of ye know that joke (�s gailge) about the two provos walking down the street who see the two orangemen and one says "n� ceapaim" (kneecap him)??

? Not the faintest idea...

its alright, was talking to me mate today, now my irish is shite compared to his but by god ill try.... p.s. ive no time to be putting fadas on lol

bhi dha fear IRA ag suil suas an mbothar i belfast agus feiceant siad an fear ag s� ar an mballa. duirt fear amhain ar an fear eile, "an ceapann tu go bhfuil an fear seo san UVF?", agus duirt fear eile...
"ni ceapaim"

jaysus, terrible irish haha, ill give a translation to those non-speakers (although i hardly count as a speaker)

there were two IRA men walking down a belfast street and they seen a fella sitting on a wall. one says to the other, "do you know if that fella there is in the UVF", and yer man replies "ni ceapaim (i dont know)" - "knee cap him"

Ah...

Why did the blind man stop skydiving?
Because it was scaring the hell out of his dog

lmao

I just NOW got the one with the kneecap...