Come single belle and beau,
Unto me pay attention
Don't ever fall in love,
Tis the devil's own invention
For once I fell in love
With a maiden so bewitchin'
Miss Henrietta Bell
Down in Captain Kelly's Kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

At the age of seventeen
I was 'prenticed to a grocer
Not far from Stephen's Green
Where Miss Henri used to go sir
Her manners were so fine,
She set me heart a twitchin'
When she invited me
To a hooley in the kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

Sunday being the day
We were to have the flare up
I dressed meself quite gay
And I frizzed an oiled me hair up
The captain had no wife
And he'd gone off a fishin'
So we kicked up the highlife
Below the stairs in the kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

Just as the clock struck six
We sat down at the table
She handed me the tay
And I ate what I was able
I ate cakes with punch and tay
'Till my side had got a stitch in
And the time passed very quickly
With our courtin' in the kitchen

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

With me arms around her waist,
She slyly hinted marriage
When to the door in haste
Came Captain Kelly's carriage
Her looks told me full well
And they were not bewitchin'
That she wished I'd get to hell,
Or somewhere from the kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

She flew up off my knees,
Full five feet up or higher
And over head and heels
Threw me slap into the fire!
My new Repealer's coat,
That I bought from Mr. Mitchel
With a thirty-shilling note,
Went to blazes in the kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

I grieved to see my duds,
All besmeared with smoke and ashes
When a tub of dirty suds
Right in my face she dashes
As I lay on the floor
Still the water she kept pitchin'
'Till the footman broke the door,
And marched down into the kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

When the Captain came downstairs
Though he seen me situation
Despite all me prayers
I was marched off to the station
For me they'd take no bail
Though to get home I was itchin'
And I had to tell the tale
How I came in to the kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.

I said she did invite me,
But she gave a flat denial
For assault she did indict me
And I was sent for trial
She swore I'd robbed her house
In spite of all her screechin'
And I got six months hard
For me courtin' in the kitchen.

With me too-rah-loo-rah-lay,
Me too-rah-loo-rah-laddie.